Last night, I had a dream about an exboyfriend. This is an exboyfriend I’ve dreamed about before. Often and in various positions.

Last night, we were in his old living room. For some reason, he wanted to know if I was as flexible now as I was back then.

Well, I do yoga. So, yeah, I’m pretty freaking flexible. As I proved this to him, he was suddenly upon me, kissing furiously.

I PUSHED HIM AWAY, saying things like “I’m MARRIED! I have TWO KIDS!” and “I can’t do this! I have CHILDREN!”

WTF? They’re even fucking up my dream life.