So, the Drama Queen brought home a certificate from school yesterday, saying that she was nominated by her teachers as the one child in the entire kindergarten who exemplifies respect. This makes me wonder just how disrespectful the rest of the kids are.

I was proud to bursting, as was Mr. Sasha, of course. We were so proud, we decided to reward the obviously good behavior, with the next book in the Junie B. Jones series. Yes, the most respectful kindergartener in her school loves the most disrespectful fictional character in kindergarten lit. Hey, she must be learning what NOT to do, right?

So, I picked her up from school today, and got her all buckled into her booster, and then informed her with a giant smile on my face that we were going to BORDERS!

She waited till we got there and parked before she popped my joy balloon. “You know, I’m going to want something else, right?”

Well, get a job, sister. Too bad being respectful to your teachers doesn’t pay all that well, huh?

I located the Junies and picked up the next one.  Drama Queen was busy peeking around at all the stuff in Borders that’s NOT a book. Can I ask, why the FUCK do bookstores suddenly feel the need to stock TOYS? If I wanted to drag my five year old through Toys R Us, I’d do that. I’m trying to instill a love of LITERATURE here, bastards.

I told her she couldn’t have the magnetic Disney Princess Dress Up set. Then I told her she couldn’t have the My Little Pony Game. Then I told her if she asks me for one more thing, she better either whip out her gold card, or we’re leaving.

On line, our fellow line waiters had to listen to her whine about how she “never gets ANYTHING” she wants. And at the register, when the lovely cashier asked her “Would you like a bag for this, sweetheart? Or are you going to read it in the car?” and she was met with a sullen silence and pouty lower lip, I lost it.

THIS is the most respectful child in kindergarten? Either she’s got multiple fucking Sybil personalities, or the rest of the kids in her school are real assholes.