I’m going to go on a diet this week. I’m not fat. I’m fluffy. And I have bought into the notion that moms are supposed to be a little fluffy.


Fuck that shit.


THIS mom is not going to be fluffy. ‘Cause you know what? I still get to have sex. And if someone has to see me naked, the least I can do is make sure I don’t look like Jabba the Hut.


Also? I can’t zip up my favorite fuck me boots. How on earth do I expect to get the sex without fuck me boots?


Who’s with me?


Are those crickets chirping?